420 ftw
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
