Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
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