Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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