Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
