At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Bring me that man meat
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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