he thought i was a dude.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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