hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
