Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
