i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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