we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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