of course. lets lasso hookers.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
