She's JV to your varsity
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
