dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just threw up on my dentist
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
honey bunches of taint.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
