Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
