I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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