His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
