The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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