i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
