I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
