We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
