She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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