Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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