trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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