I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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