mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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