He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
