in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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