whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
