Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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