D3 body, D1 cock
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
