i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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