You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
