bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
