I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
