Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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