garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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