Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
as a side note pls kill me
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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