I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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