the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
