Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
