he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
