Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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