your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
