Jerry, you need to find god
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Randomize
