i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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