I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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