I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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