Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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