Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
