If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
