am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
